How do you spend Mother’s Day when you’ve lost your mom? This is a question I thought I would never have to answer, but life often turns in directions that we never think it will. On this Mother’s Day weekend I am only able to go through pictures (not enough) and memories of my mom, as I lost her, along with my niece, in a car accident a few years ago. My mom was a sweet and gentle soul. This is not just the biased opinion of a son who is reminiscing, but to all those who knew my mom, they would mostly agree.
If I could have my mom back on this Mother’s Day, The first thing I would do obviously is squeeze her until her little frame would disappear within my arms, and I would take lots and lots of pictures. See here is the thing about life, once you lose someone you can’t do it over. So I would take so many pictures and document in anyway that I could the life that we are living. Did we always get along? Absolutely not. But there was never a moment that I questioned, does my mom love me and will my mom be at my side through my lowest valley or my highest mountain.
Have you ever noticed that moms have this amazing, almost magical way of how to blow on a cut, after applying an antiseptic, in just the right way to make the pain completely stop, as her breath hits your wound. Well mine could, and my mom also had a smile that would erase a bad day. Isn’t it amazing how just the look on her face can bring peace, in the worst of crisis. I can remember one time as I was in a school play and my big part (okay it really wasn’t that big of a part) was about to take place. I was a nervous wreck and then I found my mom looking at me in the audience and after a small wink and big smile, I knew that I could do this.
If this were my last Mother’s Day with my mom, which it possibly could be for some this year, I would not worry about the expense it cost to see her smile, I would not worry about all of the obligations that I feel I had to attend to. I would simply spend time with my mom. After all it really never was the expense of the gift, as long as I had something just to show, mom I love you on this Mother’s Day.
The last time I was able to spend time with my mom, she had been having health issues (had to have a colostomy bag), but she still wanted me to bring my motorcycle (a Honda shadow spirit) to her house, to ride her on that last Saturday afternoon. I’m so thankful for that moment as she held me tightly so she would not fall off, although we never got above 45 miles per hour, because she said that was too fast…..
So remember on this Mother’s Day, if your mother is still with you, do whatever it takes to make her smile, forget the differences that you have had with her and her with you and just make her smile.
Oh yeah, and take lots of pictures because one day you will be like me, going through pictures, faded and few, that you hold onto as one of the most precious possessions that you have, but you never have enough. If she calls you and ask you to get in your vehicle and drive 35 miles just to bring her some whoppers (chocolate coated malt candy) do it. Because there will be a day that you would buy her every whopper in the world.
When you tell your once upon a HAPPY MOTHERS DAY tale, let it be with no regrets.
Now go hug your mom you filthy animal!!